Below, find this week's schedule of reruns of Saturday Night Live, along with episode summaries taken from the SNL Episode Guide, which is available at SATURDAY NET (http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html). To subscribe or unsubscribe, visit: http://mailman.io.com/mailman/listinfo/snlreruns/ ~~~ The NBC episode for this Saturday night (10-Jun-06) is a rerun: *************************************************************************** **** 05i  Jack Black / Neil Young ........................................................................... .... cold  Dick Cheney (DAH) plays Santa to kids' politically-convenient requests mono  host sings his King Kong song, which didn't make it into the movie COMM  Stuart Little Mouse Removal Kit tempts rodents to drive out of your house skit  at Sbarro, shoppers suffer gusts of cold wind due to near-to-door table skit  Appalachian Emergency Room- (musical guest) & Johnny Knoxville [real] ail FILM   Christmastime For The Jews by RBS- gentile absence brings opportunities misc  going to commercial, Darlene Love [real] sings White Christmas skit  TV news team member (host) points out unfairness at publicity photo shoot FILM   Lazy Sunday - CHP & ANS rap about a trip to see The Chronicles Of Narnia song  musical guest performs It's A Dream news  Skull Island tourism board members (KET) & (TRM) downplay giant fauna news  AMP & TIF list icky properties of 15 year-old boys they find irresistible skit  young Debbie Downer saps Santa's (host) jollity when he visits her house skit  stranded in space, (host) rebuffs advances of hermaphrodite alien (ANS) skit  Christmas tree seller (host) fields A-holes' (JAS) & (KRW) dumb requests skit  spelling bee loser (WLF) inspires song by host & Kyle Gass [real] song  musical guest performs He Was The King misc  host, TRM, castmembers end the show from Rockefeller Center skating rink In some markets, it will be followed by a classic episode: *************************************************************************** **** 87k  Justine Bateman / Terrance Trent D'Arby ........................................................................... .... cold: Bob Dole (DAA) dominates the Republican presidential candidates' debate show: Family Ties- nested flashbacks document barely-averted Keaton disasters show: Learning to Feel- Denise Venetti again advises look at yourself song: musical guest performs Wishing Well news  one-man mobile up_link_ unit ALF reports on New Hampshire primary weather skit: Derek Stevens' muse of a girlfriend (host) wants him to move out skit  (KEN)'s foolproof bank robbery plan is in & out, nobody gets hurt song: musical guest performs Under My Thumb skit: (host)'s paranoia is justified- perfect people at a party do laugh at her show  Friday Night Videos- host & George F. Will (DAC) chat awkwardly ~~~ The following 60-minute versions of SNL episodes will air on E!; all times EDT: Sa 10-Jun-06 10:00pm  03r  Lindsay Lohan / Usher   1:00am  03r  Lindsay Lohan / Usher Su 11-Jun-06 [none] Mo 12-Jun-06 11:30pm  04f  Luke Wilson / U2   3:00am  04l  Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson Tu 13-Jun-06 11:30pm  xxx  Best of EDM   3:00am  01q  The Rock / Andrew W.K. We 14-Jun-06 11:30pm  00n  Conan O'Brien / Don Henley   3:00am  04b  Queen Latifah Th 15-Jun-06 11:30pm  03a  Jack Black / John Mayer   3:00am  99g  Christina Ricci / Beck Fr 16-Jun-06   5:00pm  00h  Lucy Liu / Jay-Z   6:00pm  97r  Greg Kinnear / All Saints 11:30pm  99a  Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie   3:00am  99t  Jackie Chan / Kid Rock *************************************************************************** **** 97r  Greg Kinnear / All Saints ........................................................................... .... cold: Martha Stewart (ANG) Living- Easter fun & a half-hearted nod to Passover mono: host analyzes his As Good As It Gets co-stars' Oscar-winning performances COMM: Cookie Dough Sport {rerun} show: Name That Dog- game show contestants try to guess pooches' appellations skit  Marty & Bobbi perform a drug medley for patients at a rehab center skit: (CHO) endures obnoxious blind date's (host) compulsive need to high-five TOON: Fun With Real Audio by RBS- Tom Snyder stalks Dolly Parton {rerun} comm: Thurmond Sykes (TRM) pitches House of Dogs as a source of dangerous mutts news: COQ considers what Holy Week would be like had there been no Resurrection news: Gunner Olsen delivers heavy _meta_l-enhanced news stories to the crowd song: musical guest performs Never Ever skit  Ted Koppel (DAH) & his junkie younger brother (host) reunite & reconcile skit  Captain Kidd (Bob Hoskins) makes (WIF) walk a really, really long plank show: The Robin Byrd (CHO) Show- fresh-faced (host) is victim of faulty booking comm  Later reunion brings together host, Bob Costas (DAH), thousands more MISC: The Lost Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey- on versatility of playing dead *************************************************************************** **** 99a  Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie ........................................................................... .... cold: Pat Buchanan (CHP) & Donald Trump (DAH) vie to be Reform Party candidate mono: for host, a typical day in NYC involves watching cheesy TV reruns n_onstop_ COMM: slow-to-get-online investment firm got stuck with clownpenis.fart domain show: Morning Latte- Cass' husband Eli (CHP) & fruit-meat diet doctor (host) skit: Mary Katherine Gallagher falls for Jewish basketball star (host) comm: trust Javis Home Security Systems to keep out freaks like diaperer (WIF) show: Action8 News Watch- anchors (host) & (ANG) deliver alarmist teases NEWS  The Millennium- sharks were unaffected by the past 1000 years of history news: host & Jerry Seinfeld (JIF) engage in a Point-Counterpoint about The Gap song: musical guest performs Thursday's Child SHOW: OZ- host brings Seinfeld sensibilities to a maximum security prison skit  (WIF) calls 1-800-EAT-SHIT in a futile attempt to report a bad driver skit: TV execs give ...And A Pizza Place its own series; A.J. Benza cameo song  musical guest performs Rebel Rebel skit  thug (WIF) alternately interrogates (host) & nurses him back to health *************************************************************************** **** 99g  Christina Ricci / Beck ........................................................................... .... cold: Clinton (DAH) points out the Republican presidential hopefuls' weaknesses mono: host's twin sister Bettina (RAD) wishes they were still an acting team skit: at holiday parade, (host) disses Craig & steals Arianna's boyfriend (JIF) comm  And So This Is Chanukah- star-packed special is vaguely Judaism-related show: Who Wants To Eat?- Bosnian refugee (host) seeks sustenance on game show show: Taxicab Confessions- stripper (host) distracts cabbie (TIM) with sex talk TOON: Fun With Real Audio by RBS- the Friends are oblivious to the apocalypse news  WTO spokesman Jacob Silj (WIF) can't modulate the volume of his voice song: musical guest performs Mixed Bizness show  Goth Talk- Circe, Baron Nocturna, (host) conduct Azrael's funeral show: Sally Jessy Raphael (ANG) unsuccessfully tries to tame wild teen (host) song  musical guest performs Sexx Laws MISC  clip of Madeline Kahn's I Feel Pretty SNL performance marks her passing *************************************************************************** **** 99t  Jackie Chan / Kid Rock ........................................................................... .... cold: skanks (Sarah Michelle Gellar), (Gina Gershon), Florence Henderson [real] mono: host bests Steven Seagal (WIF) & other martial arts also-rans skit: Nick Burns & fellow nerd (host) belittle office workers' tech problems misc  going to commercial, G.E. Smith [real] plays guitar skit: Marty & Bobbi do a medieval-themed medley at the school Renaissance Fair TOON: Fun With Some Real Audio by RBS- Madonna indulges fans' intimate wishes skit  (MOS) & (host) get embroiled in Zimmermans' erotic miniature golf game skit  Asian Elvis impersonator (host) wins over a skeptical Las Vegas crowd news  Bobby Knight (DAH) relates lessons learned from an anger management class song: musical guest performs American Bad Ass show: Pretty Living- joyologist Helen's new boyfriend (host) teaches GymNasty COMM: Calgon- (host) beats (CHP) to prevent exposure of ancient Chinese secret skit: at the Earth's center, expert hole diggers form international brotherhood song  musical guest performs Only God Knows Why misc  at closing, Cheryl Hardwick [real] blows a kiss to mark her final SNL *************************************************************************** **** 00h  Lucy Liu / Jay-Z ........................................................................... .... cold: at Chi-Chi's, George W. Bush (WIF) & Al Gore (DAH) attempt reconciliation MONO: host embraced female Asian stereotypes during her week at SNL comm: the tech stock plunge hurt priceline.com spokesman William Shatner (DAH) show: Total Request Live- Gemini's Twin added (host) because she has a minivan show: Jeopardy!- Robin Williams (JIF) & Catherine Zeta-Jones (host) fail show: Pretty Living- joyologist Helen's new fling is a female lumberjack (host) show: Jarret's (JIF) Room- dorm-_base_d webcast is a window into youth culture news  modern trappings sidetrack James Madison's (RAD) electoral college spiel news  JIF & TIF change Baby New Year's (CHK) diaper news  JIF plays guitar & sings pop-inspired songs about Christmas presents song: musical guest performs I Just Wanna Love U skit  angel (MOS) & other Christmas ornaments worry about making it to the tree comm  Murder In The Make-Believe Ballroom- more rap from Robert Goulet (WIF) MISC  interloper interrupts message of season's greetings by JIF & TIF song  musical guest performs Is That Yo Bitch misc: HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF once again perform a happy Christmas ditty
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*************************************************************************** **** 99a  Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie ........................................................................... .... skit  (WIF) calls 1-800-EAT-SHIT in a futile attempt to report a bad driver Just out of boredom, I looked online and found this number is owned by Network Telephone Systems, which also owns its 888, 877 and 866 counterparts.

I guess the Jack Black rerun is because NACHO LIBRE opens this week.

The Red River stills flows through my home town Rollin' and tumblin' on its way Swirling around the old bridge pylons Where a boy fishes the morning away His bicycle leans on an oak tree While the cars rumble over his head An aeroplane leaves a trail in an empty blue sky And the young birds call out to be fed It's a dream Only a dream And it's fading now Fading away It's only a dream Just a memory without anywhere to stay An old man walks along on the sidewalk Sunglasses and an old Stetson hat The four winds blow the back of his overcoat away As he stops with the policeman to chat And a train rolls out of the station That was really somethin' in its day Picking up speed on the straight prairie rails As it carries the passengers away It's gone Only a dream And it's fading now Fading away Only a dream Just a memory without anywhere to stay